“No Alpha Wants You,” My Mother Laughed at the Ball—But the Twin Alphas Attended the Event for Me

When your household is a mix of perimenopause, bad hearing, puberty, and a touch of the 'tism. Welcome to the chaos zone where: Mom can't hear anything over her own hot flashes One kid is going through hormonal hell The other is having a full meltdown over texture tags And somehow everyone's yelling at the same time but nobody's listening It's not a horror movie. It's just a Tuesday. If your house feels like a full cast of characters nobody auditioned for, you're not alone. Perimenopause adds a